She just used a chaser for red wine.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize