theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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