I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
NoShamevember. You game?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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