I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
