wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
