This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
