I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
