whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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