They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
