The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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