You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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