yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
