..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i out mim tonsoeep
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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