We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
