Apparently you make a good broom.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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