Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
