i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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