So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
