Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
