Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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