we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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