your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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