Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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