my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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