CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
