Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
