I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
