when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
