Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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