I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My ATM looks so different sober.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
