since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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