New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize