why didn't you poke me back
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
