Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize