Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
