What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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