Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
