if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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