Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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