i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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