I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
