porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
