I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize