I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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