I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
