Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
