so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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