youre lurking in front of me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
