She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
