This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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