She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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