Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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