God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
