the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
