i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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