ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
