What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
As shirtless as possible
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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