she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you win again, gameday.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
