dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
