I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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