Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
