I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
