Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
this will be a night to untag.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
