i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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